I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
