Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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