I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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