there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
