nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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