Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
