Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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