I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
