...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
