I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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