sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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