im drinking this country out of the recession.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
