one might say we're banned from that church
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
