he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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