I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
