first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
