I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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