i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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