Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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