and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
