hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
