he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
