so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
