: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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