Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
