one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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