I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
