Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize