Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
