The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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