Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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