There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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