sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
