STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
