I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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