We won't sleep together?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm just crazy horny about you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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