She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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