We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
