I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
