And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
