no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
