Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
