Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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