I CAN MOONWALK!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
