I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
