whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
