Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
