it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
