I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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