i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
