Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
