maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Randomize
