Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
