I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
