Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
