The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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