Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm too high and old for this...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
