He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
