I want to walk on stilts...naked
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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