My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
