On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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