On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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