You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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