I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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