Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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