You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
