I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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