You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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