That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
