What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
