Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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