Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
