i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i think i just lost a toe
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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