Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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