i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
