You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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