i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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