I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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