the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
